Source: The Guardian
Americans were at the forefront of inventing and making widespread use of television. We were also at the forefront of using it as a teaching tool for uplifting people all over the world. Unfortunately, we were also the first to toss that noble vision right out the window and run cigarette ads thinly disguised as news programs and hundreds of episodes of The Gong Show.
But, despite our own imbecility, Americans are consistently amazed at the surreal TV sometimes produced overseas. Every culture that has adopted TV has approached the medium in its own unique way, from North Korea’s all-propaganda, all the time format, to Japanese game shows that cross the conceptual boundary between lowbrow entertainment and actionable war crimes. It’s as if TV was our kid, who we sent to college overseas, only to have her come back as a Mao-quoting anarchist who runs a scat play blog on Tumblr.
Sometimes, mass media, ratings desperation, and striking cultural differences collide—and the results are then broadcast for the world (and a few aliens, probably) to see. Fortunately, some thoughtful people have done the public service of uploading the weirdest moments of surreal TV from overseas to the Internet for posterity.
Turkish News Anchor Actually Does What Sean Hannity Has Only Dreamed Of
Right, Barack Obama. Left, surreal TV incarnate. Source: Ekstra Bladet
A standard template plays out whenever an American public figure does something facefuckingly racist. First, the offender issues a passive-voice public apology to “anyone who might have been offended.” After that, they usually have a sit-down with Al Sharpton or Oprah Winfrey to apologize again, talk about their recent donation to the UNCF, and explain that they wrote “Obama = White Slaver” on a watermelon and threw it off a building as satire. The ritual completed, the public—sometimes—forgives and moves on.
In the above clip–perhaps the most surreal TV you’ll ever see–which aired on Turkish television in April 2009, we see an anchorman donning blackface and going into a split-screen with footage of President Obama—you know, just in case the viewer forgot who the segment was about. The anchor’s words were:
“Welcome, Mr. Obama. You took our hearts with your hospitality. We appreciate your kindness. We will do whatever America asks of us, as friends. Now, we ask the same of you.”
If this had been American TV, it’s possible this guy wouldn’t have made it all the way home that night, but in this case, it seems to have been a genuine combination of satire and cultural norms lost in translation. In traditional Turkish culture, when one person asks another for a favor, the former’s face is said to be darkened with shame. During the broadcast, the anchor was rhetorically asking several favors of Obama on behalf of Turkey, hence the face paint.
Still, holy shit.
Surreal TV, Communist Style
Source: Propaganda Simon Says
Communism didn’t offer much to its subjects, but you’d think a lack of obviously dishonest commercials would be one benefit of a system where the profit motive was often outlawed. After all, if there’s only one store, which sells only one type of washing machine, and both the store and the product are owned by the government, which might shoot you for trying to import foreign products, why bother advertising?
You’d be wrong, however. Lies serve a definite purpose in democratic countries. After all, if Dick Cheney had told the truth about Iraq, would we have invaded? If Barack Obama had shared his honest opinion about gay marriage in 2008, would he have been elected? Lies are an understandable, if regrettable, consequence of the need to gin up popular support in American politics. Communist dictatorships, on the other hand, don’t run by popular consent, thus they have no need to lie to garner support. But they absolutely do not let that stop them from slathering the airwaves with happy-talk propaganda about how awesome everything is under the regime’s benevolent rule.
This video ran on East German TV around Christmas 1958. On the surface, it’s a perfectly boring sequence about tractors and holiday shopping. What makes this jump-the-shark surreal, however, is that everybody who watched it knew it was pure lies. Officially, it’s a summary of the government’s economic gains over the year (they were awesome, thanks), and then a loving portrait of a typical German couple window shopping at the government store, Konsum.
Except Konsum often didn’t even have goods for sale. Sure, there was neat stuff (by communist standards) in the windows, but the shelves were often totally empty, and every citizen of East Germany knew it. There’s no evidence this short film was intended for overseas distribution; it was aimed at East Germans. Why? What’s the point (other than unintentionally creating some surreal TV)? Were people in Dresden supposed to rush down to Konsum to get the mediocre tote bags and cameras that weren’t actually for sale? (That last one seems like an exceptionally cruel joke; photography was tightly restricted by the authorities and punished with hard labor). What was the desired outcome, other than a spike in the suicide rate?
The Internet Finally Explodes; Fragments Rain Down on Russian TV Station
Source: Mashable
There’s no real explanation for this. Like all great art, either it explains itself, or it fails:
Literally every second of that video is more insane than the one that preceded it. Note to TV producers: when you open with a ventriloquist, move on to a generically Middle-Eastern…road worker? and wrap it up with Darth Vader and low-budget t.A.T.u. impersonators, all set to a live version of the Trololo song, sung by Eduard Khil himself, you’re trying too hard for an Emmy.
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